Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t buy bullshit

Can you write a poem or short story based on the first image that shows up on Pinterest?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why did you put a guy’s dick in your mouth the first time?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Trump Plans Biofuel Quota Boost, Seeks to Crimp Imports - Bloomberg

I see through liars

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why was Cars 2 so bad?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What was the hottest inappropriate sex you ever had?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

What is a good way to conduct an interview?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

What is the best way to end a relationship with someone who has future plans with you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fakery

What pet would you strongly not recommend?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Is there a stereotype that South Indians are physically strong and muscular compared to other regions of India?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What are the signs of mild autism in a child?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How do I become an intelligent man?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What are the challenges associated with the birth narratives of Jesus?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read